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Breath, In

Waiting outside the CT room and I can hear the machine whir into action. “Breath In” says the 1990’s era synth voice. I think after this one she gets a free nuclear powered toaster, having filled her loyalty card. Kathleen is massively doped up to try and deal with the intense pain of laying on her back. She is medicated as much as possible once again so she can stay still while they image another area. Its not as long as the MRI thankfully.
Photo 2013-03-02 1 33 03 PM The latest theory (this time by a very earnest Neurologist) is an abscess in her sacrum. The MRI showed a relatively normal back “unfortunately / fortunately” depending on how you look at it. Some age related degeneration and some fluid but nothing that would account for the massive pain she has. If it is an abscess, it can be drained bringing almost instant pain relief. After so many tries– and they really are trying— Kathleen needs this win. The pain is grinding her down.
I think about some of the intractable work problems I have faced in the past. You come up with a theory, put in all sorts of effort to implement the plan only to have it fail. You think you have it. You get your hopes up…. no. You get beat down. You pull yourself up somehow, only to get beat back down. Repeat. Thats just money and equipment at work. This is very different of course. Its easy for me to say we will keep trying, as its Kathleen that has to endure.

More pills to try and get her through the symptoms. She took this photo this morning– her AM regime. I havent had a chance to ask her what was on her mind yet, but I will include it here.
Photo 2013-03-01 8 45 59 AM

Upstairs now and Kathleen is sleeping off the drugs. She had another rough night. On top of the pain, they are trying to get all the excess fluids out of her tissues which means more trips to the washroom. Her one leg has started to get better, but not the other raising some concern of a blood clot somewhere. But they are on it. They dont shy away from doing ultrasounds to make sure.

Lovely visit from her maternal aunt and uncle from Montreal this morning. They were in Toronto visiting their grandchildren and came up to see Kathleen and Elaine. They brought her a St. Patricks day drinking hat 🙂
Photo 2013-03-02 12 31 56 PM

—Mike

About In the Cancer Bubble

I am Kathleen's partner of almost 25yrs supporting her through this very tough and rough spot.

6 responses to “Breath, In

  1. Lisa ⋅

    Nice picture of the three of you. Giles and Anne look great. Me thinks some luck of the Irish would be great right now for you girl, but certainly no liquid from the Irish!!! We’ll bang back a few when you’ve kicked this thing in the ass. Your fighting hard, keep it up. Love ya …see ya soon.

  2. Kristin ⋅

    I love this picture! Anne and Giles look great and always nice to see Kathleen’s beautiful smile! Sending lucky charms your way all the way from Calgary – love Kristin xoxoxo

  3. Colleen and Terry ⋅

    Lovely family photo! Cool hat Kathleen! Looks sharp! Love those Irish! You all look so great together, I’m sure Ann and Gilles’ visit eased the pain somewhat. Thanks for the update Mike, sounds like the Doctors may be getting closer to pinning down the source. We have our fingers crossed and positive vibes still coming your way. Thinking of you always, love, Us

  4. judy ⋅

    Dear Mike and Kathleen,
    Hoping that the source of this persistent back pain is found soon and that sleeping on your back will be normal again. Looking good in the green hat Kathleen.
    Love Judy

  5. mybestfriendchasessquirrels ⋅

    When irish eyes are smiling….they sure smile kindly. I am relieved to hear that you have a “Dr. House” and “his team” on solving Kathleen’s perplexing back pain issue. If anyone has ever had back pain…..childbirth is a close second to the degree of discomfort and I cannot even imagine what an absess in one’s sacrum would feel like……brings back my days of yoga. Give Kathleen a shot of Irish Whiskey with her meds this morning to put a twinkle in her eye…..though not necessary…..the twinkle has never left. Always thinking of her…..Betty came to greet me on Friday….tried to imitate Kathleen to fool her…..no fooling Betty…..besides ……there’s no imitating Kathleen.

  6. jacquie and mike ⋅

    love the hat…it suits you. hugs
    love to both
    jac

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