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Not Awake, not Sleeping

Its been hard, but we are managing so far. I havent had much of an inspiration to write on the blog as things in many ways have not changed much. They are still headed to their inevitable conclusion and symptoms that now arise are just part of that. When that is, is hard to guess. Soon. Kathleen continues to get weaker and weaker. She hasnt eaten anything for some time. Even now, swallowing sips of water is difficult and speaking is very laboured for her.

To further complicate matters, Kath has been very frightened at night. They call it “sunsetting”… Things get worse at night. She will often wake up and not recognize the PSW and be afraid and confused. So with the help of our good friend Jan and her mum, we will be with her to keep her comfortable and feeling safe. I am on night shift tonight. Perhaps once or twice an hour, she will talk aloud about the dream state that she is in for a few sentences, look at me and then go back to a place where we are not. She is not really sleeping, but not really awake either. Somewhere between.

—Mike

About In the Cancer Bubble

I am Kathleen's partner of almost 25yrs supporting her through this very tough and rough spot.

12 responses to “Not Awake, not Sleeping

  1. jacquie ⋅

    Sweet Dreams Kathleen….hugs

  2. Nancy Croth ⋅

    Mike, you, Kathleen, Jan and Kath’s mom are never far from my thoughts. I am holding all of you in my heart these days.

  3. Pennie Bickerstaff ⋅

    Mike I am praying for you all during this time. My heart breaks for the sorrow you all are facing on a daily basis. Oh Lord please give this family the strength they need each moment of the day. Father please take care of Kathleen and give her relief from this cancer. Oh Lord take the cancer and drop it in the bottom of the ocean. Father we pray for a Miracle of your devine healing powers. In Jesus Name Amen.

  4. kimberly ⋅

    My thoughts are with you you both.

  5. Lidia ⋅

    Thank you for the update Mike. I can only imagine how hard this is on all of you. So sorry for the suffering that Kathleen and yourself are going through. Your are her rock and it must be the most difficult thing to do when you probably are in need of shoulder yourself 😦

    Please give her a big hug for me.

    Lidia

  6. Karen Gee ⋅

    Thinking of you both often.xx

  7. judy ⋅

    Dear Mike and Kathleen,
    Love to you both and to Elaine and Jan. Kathleen is surrounded by love.
    Judy

  8. Jill ⋅

    Dearest Mike, Kathleen, Elaine and Jan, Sending an abundance of loving thoughts to all of you as you are so beautifully there for dear Kathleen. The deep love, compassion, kindness and care you all have for Kathleen is an incredible and beautiful thing. Special hugs to you all and some special cuddles for Orville and Betty. With love, Jill

  9. Michael & Charlene Pereira ⋅

    My thoughts and prayers are with you both.

    Michael & Charlene Pereira

  10. anne paterson ⋅

    Such a difficult stage. My thoughts and prayers are with you all as well. I’m so glad that you three are able to be with her during this time. One day in the future, when you look back on this time, you’ll realize that it was a special time with Kathleen. Big hugs to you.

  11. beth & Katryn ⋅

    You are all in the forefront of our minds and very close to our hearts during this time. As others have said, this process is so very difficult, yet on some level also very precious thanks to the depth and strength of your shared love and friendship.
    Love to you all, beth and Katryn

  12. Lynne ⋅

    My thoughts are with you both, always.
    Lynne

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