Kathleen died today at 12:40pm in her home, with Jan, her mum, and myself by her bed. Orville and Betty were able to say their goodbyes too. The past few nights were very hard on her physically. She was getting weaker and weaker and the pain was more difficult to control. We were up since about 2am trying to bring her comfort. By 8am, she did start to relax a little more. We had also a bonus 15min of lucidity together at about 8:30. On the TV in the livingroom, I was playing pics from our lives together and she was able to see one with us on a Cuban beach and recognize it. Then she fell asleep until just past noon when she motioned a little, her breathing became irregular and her heart stopped and my heart was ripped in two.
Half of me was relieved she would suffer no more, and the other half was just suffering the loss of my closest friend, and the love of my life.
I am exhausted now, as is Elaine and Jan. We all need to sleep a few days to catch up. I havent really had time to digest and reflect on the day, other than to feel the fog of being elsewhere now. The proverbial cancer bubble has burst for me and I am not sure where I am. On 4hrs sleep in 48, its probably best not to think too much, so I will check in one more time on the blog in a few days.
Of course, I have many, many more at http://goo.gl/8Px5Tf but I like these two a lot for a number of reasons.