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CT Report

Its in her lungs. The rest of the report didn’t really matter too much. Oddly enough it said the lymph nodes in her gut didn’t significantly change. Even her neck lymph nodes didn’t really look different in size. Perhaps only shape. If that was all in the report, that would be good news. But a spread to the lungs with several sites confirms what we already suspected, that the FOLFOX chemo drug was no longer working. There was no direct evidence of it hitting her liver, but later when we read the report, there were signs (eg Pneumobilia) that it might be headed there or already is there. So its spread. Friday, Kathleen will start the FOLFIRI, which is a second line chemo. Supposedly the side effects are not as bad as FOLFOX, but everyone reacts differently. As its a second line drug, it is normally not as effective as FOLFOX. But she wants to try and there is still a reasonable possibility it might work, so the doctor is all for it, as are we. But its just a possibility, not probability.

So, what does it all mean ? The chemo doctor said the lung nodes are small and it would probably be a “long” time before they get big, to where they are causing shortness of breath or fluid in her lungs– assuming of course the new chemo does not keep them in check. What does long mean ? He said “months”. I would prefer “years”, but its “months”…

What do we think ? Well, its pretty shitty of course. What more can one say. Before the chemo doctor appointment, we had a very nice long talk with a social worker who Kath connected with at the hospital in the surgical days. If we knew her outside of this context, we would consider her more of a friend as we have much in common to talk about. It was a helpful chat. Added perspectives on big issues like death and living while dying are important to continually work out and develop ways of understanding. Everything is on the table to talk about for us and I think that helps a lot. 25 years. A lot of living for us in that time. We still have some time left, and we will continue to build on it as best we can, for as long as we can.

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About In the Cancer Bubble

I am Kathleen's partner of almost 25yrs supporting her through this very tough and rough spot.

15 responses to “CT Report

  1. Jane Newman ⋅

    Sorry to hear about the lung! But Kathleen keep your chin up. I had a patient in to see me last week that was diagnosed with lung cancer 10 years ago and was in my chair looking completely fine. Here’s hoping some of these newer drugs keep it at bay! Hugs and hugs to you two!
    Jane Newman

  2. Trudy ⋅

    Love both of you and miss you. I’m crying. hoping the 2nd line chemo is helpful, and praying, but I don’t know for what I’m praying. Probably for hope and comfort for you, Kathleen, and the amazing circle of friends around you.

  3. Keith and Lori ⋅

    Your courage to talk about such a difficult subject candidly, honestly and lovingly is an inspiration. We love both of you and we are hoping and praying.

  4. I so much want to just hug you both.

  5. judy ⋅

    Hi Kathleen,
    Still hoping for years and pain relief. Keep strong.
    Love Judy

  6. Sharon McConnell ⋅

    Kathleen and Mike, so sorry to hear this news, but your continured determination to fight is inspiring. Sending you both big hugs and hoping for the best possible outcome for two of the most incredible, positive people I have had the priviledge to know.
    Love, Sharon

  7. Colleen and Terry ⋅

    Dear Kathleen and Mike, we spoke with Elaine, last night, you were in our thoughts more than ever. Your Courage in the face of all you are enduring is unstoppable. You have so much on your side. Our love ad thoughts are always here for you. Hugs! Colleen and Terry

  8. jacquie and mike ⋅

    love and hugs

  9. Joanne Stewart ⋅

    Sorry to hear the latest news Kathleen and Mike. My thoughts and prayers are with both of you. I think of you every day and say a little prayer as I walk past the cancer unit to visit my Dad. Hugs to both of you.

  10. Diane Warriner ⋅

    Hello to Mike, Kathleen, and Elaine (I wish we knew Jan, she sounds like a wonderful friend).
    Not the news we wanted to hear, here on the West coast, but so proud of you Kathleen to go back to the chemo to improve things.
    We wish you positive results and an ease of pain.
    Diane and Keith

  11. Bonnie ⋅

    Sending warm hugs and lots of love to both of you. We will see you soon.
    Love Don and Bonnie

  12. Maureen wolfson ⋅

    Mike and Kathleen,
    Was a bit blown away from the news and as someone else mentioned, I cried. I am living in denial; I mentioned before, works well as a coping strategy for me. I am hoping that months string into years, hoping that Kathleen doesn’t have to suffer from too much pain and hoping for a miracle.
    Love you both,

  13. Alyson ⋅

    Kathleen and Mike,
    Though we haven’t seen each other in over 15 years, as I read about your journey, I remember all those ceasar salads, bodum coffees, and endless cigarettes we had while living on Euclid St. Memories of times past. But today, as I think of you, I wish you strength and peace and continued comfort from your family and dear friends. Maybe a ceasar salad and a bracing coffe is just what the doctor ordered?
    Kind regards,
    Alyson and Bill

  14. Stacee Forrester ⋅

    Dear Kathleen and Mike,

    You are travelling this path with such grace, honesty and courage and that takes such strength. To not crumble in the face of all you are going through and to share with us, those of us not physically close by is a real gift. Lots of warmth and hugs your way. You continue to inspire and I am in awe of your inner strength.
    warm reiki your way,
    Stacee and Isobel

  15. I wish Kath wasn’t in so much pain.
    We are thinking of you and Neen and I will try to visit when we can. Hopefullly within next six weeks.
    Love you both.

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