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Sleeping

Kath is sleeping a great deal now. She is perhaps awake for 10-20min a day just a few min at a time. As the disease progresses, more things start to shut down. She can hear us some of the time, but responses are often just a squeeze of a hand or a slight nod of a head. Occasionally she even musters a joke. When I was trying to understand if she wanted to be in the chair or the bed, I would repeat, “tell me sweetie, ‘chair or bed?'”… Pushing out a grin, she replied, “Chair or bed”. But most of the time its a deep sleep. For me, I know the inevitable is coming. It of course will. Soon. But I have become so adept at living moment to moment to cope, that the event still is out of sight. Probably until the last moment before I see it.

Betty is her little sentinel.
Photo 2013-06-30 10 56 58 AM
Photo 2013-06-29 11 02 10 AM

Photo 2013-06-30 9 46 15 PM
—Mike

About In the Cancer Bubble

I am Kathleen's partner of almost 25yrs supporting her through this very tough and rough spot.

24 responses to “Sleeping

  1. Carl Miller ⋅

    thinking about you – big hug to you both carl & dan

  2. Fran Fisher ⋅

    Mike, sending love to you. Fran

  3. kimberly ⋅

    Kathleen is blessed to have you at her side

  4. Jill ⋅

    Dear Mike, Your love and support for your sweetie is something very special. Having also had the privilege to see the special bond that exists between Kathleen and Betty, your photos capture something that words can not describe. So very very precious. With love to you and Kathleen.

  5. Jennifer Corbett ⋅

    Just read your post and can’t believe I saw you and Kathleen just one short week ago, yet so much has changed…
    I am so glad I got to see Kathleen last Monday- on what seemed to be a relatively good day, surrounded by loved ones. Just to sit and chat with her and hold her hand and enjoy her unfailing wit and sense of humour- it was so nice!
    I can’t imagine how you go this, Mike…so many hearts are breaking for you, including my own…
    But as you told me, the journey thus far, sadly or mercifully or both-has prepared you for these unavoidable, heart-wrenching days.
    Thoughts and prayers are with you and your beautiful Kathleen… Big hugs for you both, xo

  6. Maureen wolfson ⋅

    Mike,
    Thinking of you with tears in my eyes.
    Sending a big hug.
    Love you both.
    Mo

  7. Stacee Forrester ⋅

    Dear Mike and Kathleen,

    You are in our hearts every day that passes and send you thoughts of warmth and peace. Your love for one another is beyond any words I can express. I will call Drew to see if I can get there for a visit in the next few days.
    Thinking about you all,
    Stacee and Isobel

  8. Jane Newman ⋅

    Hi Mike & Kathleen,
    Always in my thoughts as you struggle through each day in many ways. Remember the good times. Hugs from Europe, travelling in Italy and then to Germany where our oldest son s doing his PhD.

  9. mybestfriendchasessquirrels ⋅

    Cats are so wise……Betty has been Kathleen’s BFF for so long that its very fitting to see her by her side. Mike, this is not fair and too soon, Kathleen is too young and WTF!! Got to get the anger out. She had too many wonderful things to do still & many people to interact with and better their lives (as I can see from the replies). On another note….(angry person put aside)……I hope you realize the gift Kathleen & you have given all that you know……”your therapy” of writing your deepest, darkest and lightest thoughts are a “kick the pants” inspiration of what we can do when we “keep calm & carry on”. My reply is getting long….but what I really wanted to say….is this: I so sorry that your best friend in the whole world is leaving…….may your memories never fade..

  10. Nancy Croth ⋅

    Mike, I know it can’t be easy putting your journey into words. If it is any consolation at all, your sharing allows the rest of us to feel closer to Kathleen and the circle of loving souls that surrounds her. We are holding all of you in our hearts, thoughts and prayers.

  11. Chris ⋅

    I worked with Kathleen, I am one of the people who looked after her computer. We were pretty sure it was haunted, there was no other explanation for the strange things that happened to it. She always had a great sense of humour about the situation, even while I’d be poking away in utter frustration at that cursed piece of electronics. I’ve thought about Kathleen a lot over the last year but just heard occasional updates from coworkers, and only very recently learned of this blog. Just wanted to say that even though we were just a tiny part of each others’ lives I truly recognize what a warm and witty person she is.

  12. Colleen and Terry ⋅

    Dear Kath and Mike,
    Terry and I are going over and over our lunch and special visit we enjoyed not too long ago with Kath, Elaine and Jan, at one of Kath’s special places. Indeed it was special in so many ways, as Kathleen is special in too many ways to express in words. Our hearts have been with you throughout this journey and when we cannot be there in person, we are with you. Your love for each other is a wonder in itself. Nothing will ever overcome it. It is wonderful you were all there as a family these past couple of weeks, the pictures of you all in the blog, speak volumes of this LOVE. Our heartfelt thoughts and prayers are with you today and every day in the future. Betty is amazing too. Huge hugs! Colleen and Terry

  13. Diane Warriner ⋅

    Dearest Mike and Elaine,
    Thinking about you both so much in the last few weeks.
    We are awed by the love and support from everyone, your family, friends and those who know the three of you from your work and volunteer involvement.
    Nor can we forget the love and devotion of our animal friends who share our time on earth with us.

    What an impact Kathleen has made in her too short life!

    Sending you love and many, many warm thoughts to comfort you through the next part of the journey.
    Diane and Keith

  14. marg feeney ⋅

    My thoughts and prayers are with both of you.  Mike, I read every blog and witnessed the amazing friend to Kathleen you have been through this.  I worked with Kathleen and we would see each other mostly in the lunch room.  I remember the one trip she was going on, she shared with me, “I’m going with the love of her life, Mike”.  I knew you must be one special person to Kathleen. Take care, Marg

    ________________________________

  15. alice ⋅

    Mike and Elaine,

    I am thinking of you both and wishing you calmness in the days ahead. Alice

  16. Trudy ⋅

    Mike,
    Working in the garden the last few days, I’ve thought about working with Kathleen a few times to help out friends. She’d sometimes take on big tasks — like looking at all sorts of rental housing for a family needing accommodations for when they arrived in K!W from overseas. Her generosity seemed endless, and yet appeared to be amplified beyond endless if the two of you worked together to help friends and family or to arrange perfectly wonderful gifts for the people dear to you. From the comments here, I can see the immense consideration, generosity, and love now flowing around the two of you.

    Please give Betty a kind word from me. As you know, I have huge respect for Betty. Her sometimes fierce attentiveness to Kathleen’s comfort seems so gentle now!

    with much love from me and from Bill….

  17. Lynne ⋅

    Cats are such wise animals, dogs such devoted friends, and they recognize a good soul when they meet one.

  18. jacquie McSpurren ⋅

    love you both…hugs

  19. Don and Sheila ⋅

    Mike Sheila and I are thinking of you both hugs and lots of love Don and Sheila

  20. diane ⋅

    Dear Mike,Kathy and Elaine
    It is very heart warming to see Betty staying close to Kathleen.
    it takes me back to my sister Teddi , when “Marmalade”never left her bed . I have known Kathleen all her life. Our kids grew up together in Arnprior. She is a caring warn, funny, caring person. I’m glad she is surrounded with people who love her

  21. Karen Gee ⋅

    Thinking of you a great deal and wishing you love, peace and calm.
    Karen.

  22. Lindsey ⋅

    You both have been a constant in my thoughts the past few weeks. I wish for Kathleen to be resting comfortably, without pain.. and for you two to enjoy every minute together. Lots of love and hugs, always.

  23. Karen ⋅

    Thoughts and prayers to you and Kathleen. I worked with Kathleen and saw her in the lunch room most days. We also attended a couple of courses together. I will always remember her humour and the laughs we shared at work. She is lucky to have that special bond with you. She often told me about the adventures she had been on and how happy she was. Work has not been the same this past year and there isn’t a day that goes by when she isn’t missed. I wish you well and am glad Kathleen is resting comfortably.

  24. anne paterson ⋅

    Mike, not every couple has the love that the two of you have. I believe you and Kathleen are soul mates. Despite everything this last year has held for you both, your love has grown stronger, you can see it in your pictures, hear it in your blog. your humour has remained, your ability to share with everyone your hopes and fears has helped to draw us into the strength of your love for each other. Cancer has certainly not dealt Kathleen a favourable hand. Not everyone’s journey with cancer is like hers. Her battle was not fought alone, you and Elaine were with her every inch of the way. Without you, she may not have had the last year to have visited with family and friends and to go on special outings. Kathleen has been a great friend and thru her you have become a friend as well. I too think of you both often and hold you in my prayers. Big hugs.

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